The New Adventures of Susan Mayer
by Invader Chort
Summary: Susan Mayer gets a phone call from a certain hero from her past, Lois & Clark more likely Superman Comics /Desperate Housewives Crossover.
1. Susan and the Man

"It was a beautiful day on Wisteria Lane, Spring of 2006, the sun was shining, the children were playing and all of the flowers were in full bloom. However, as my good friend Susan was about to find out, this would not be a beautiful day in her life, it would be the day that her past came back to haunt her." Began Mary Alice Young.

The phone rang in Susan's house, while she was working on the illustrations to a children's book.

"Hello?" Susan asked.

"Hello Susan, how's it going?" The voice on the other line asked.

"I'm sorry, who is this?"

"I'm sure you should probably remember me, I mean I was your boyfriend for god knows how many years, I mean, we were even married at one point..."

At this point Susan realized who it was and looks completely frantic...

"This is unbelievable, How did you find out who I am?

"Unbelievable? Believe it!"

"I mean, After we got divorced, I changed my name, and changed my whole life..."

"I know and you moved from the big city, now why would you do that to me?"

"That was nine years ago! And you cheated on me with that bimbo who was into domination!"

"Ah yes, but I have moved on now..."

"But I thought you murdered your girlfriend when she was pregnant."

"That was Scott Peterson!"

"Oh, whatever, you two look similar, anyways, I also moved on, and am in love with a plumber!"

"Hah, you love a plumber, you haven't loved anyone since you loved me in the big city..."

"Where did we live before again, Buffalo?"

"No! We lived in that big city right near Wisteria Lane, that big metropolitan city, remember?"

"Oh yeah, that's right..."

"I'm coming to see you Susan..."

"Please don't"

"Oh don't worry Susan, I won't bring that skimpy little outfit you like me to wear..."

"Oh thank god!"

"But I still am coming!"

"Okay, where do you want to meet?"

"Shall we meet at the lovely diner around the block from you?"

"Okay, when?"

"Tomorrow at five O'Clock, and make sure mister plumber stays home, I want a night alone with my L-"

"Don't you dare say that name, dammit."

"Okay I shall see you, _Susan_..."

The man on the other line hung up on Susan with her totally distraught.

"The woman who I know as Susan Mayer has a deep and shrouded past, almost as much as I do, but the problem is I do not have to deal with it, I'm dead, she has to deal with her past, she is very much alive." Concluded Mary-Alice Young.


	2. Susan Confesses to Mike

"Another beautiful day on Wisteria Lane, and my friend Susan has to explain herself to her boyfriend."

Susan gets a knock on the door, it's her boyfriend Mike with a bouquet of flowers.

"Here you go Susan!"

"Listen, Mike, I have to cancel our date tonight, something came up…"

"What? Come on, Susan."

"Mike, I have to go meet an old friend for dinner."

"Ooh, an old friend, do I know him?"

"You might've heard of him."

"Oh really…What's his name?"

"Listen, Mike…There's a lot of things we have to talk about, but that's for another date and time…"

"Okay look, Susan, can't I at least get a little clue?"

"Alright…Sit down, Mike…"

Mike and Susan sit on the couch.

"Mike, My birth name isn't Susan…"

"Oh? And what is it?"

"It's…"

Susan looks at the floor and starts crying.

"Look Susan, it's all right, we'll get through this, whatever it is…"

"Lois… Lois… Lois… Lane…"

"Wait a minute, former star reporter for The Daily Planet?"

"Yes…but there's something else."

"What is it Susan, whatever it is, you know you can tell me."

"Mike… The man I'm going to see isn't Karl…"

"I assumed as much, Susan…"

"But he is Julie's father…"

Fadeaway as Mike and Susan are sitting together still talking, Mary-Alice's voice comes back.

"No matter what my friend _Susan_ has done in her past lives, she always sees the good in people."


	3. Susan Meets the New Neighbors

A moving van is seen as a nerd, a little person, a man with an eyepatch, a brunette and a black man walk into a house, single file.

Susan walks up to the door and rings the doorbell.

"Hello, welcome to the neighborhood, I'm Susan!"

"We are a group of college kids who are here because it's cheaper to rent a house between us than it is to pay for dorms." Said Noah.

"Money-saving's always great!"

"I'm sorry, ma'am we haven't introduced ourselves yet, my name is Noah, this is my sister Talia, and these are our friends: Slade, Edgar and Adam."

"It's a pleasure to meet all of you, welcome to Wisteria Lane!"

"Thank you! Ma'am!" said Edgar.

Susan leaves as they all look maniacal.

"Pesky insolent suburban trash!" said Slade.

"Oh, come off it, Slade, this is pretty interesting," said Talia "and just wait until our leader joins us soon."

"Shut up!" Exclaimed Edgar, "How many times have I told you not to speak?"

"Edgar, come on, you're such a little jackass sometimes." Said Adam. "And Noah, what was with that way you talked to that woman, that dialogue was more wooden than Scarface."

"Look Adam, I can't help being a feeble nerd;" Said Noah "It's just the way I am, I guess…"

"I know, I'm just playin' with you, boy, you know that!" Exclaimed Adam.

They all continue plotting, ploying, maniacally laughing, and talking with quip dialogue as Mary-Alice's voice once again resonates.

"And so it seems that once again, Wisteria Lane is introduced to some new neighbors. What part will these people play in the story of my friends? And how will their lives affect those around them?"


End file.
